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There is nobody that I can trust! Believe it or not, many people hold that philosophy, one of instinctive distrust. However, human beings are social creatures so we don’t naturally live like that. Distrust is formed over time and is created by the sum of our experiences. If we look at babies, they have no racism or bias, they are naturally accepting. The world is a scary place so they need to know what and who to avoid; who to trust. Parents and guardians, therefore, implant standards but they can also lead to distrust.
As time passes, children start to install their own standards, as they start to question their surroundings. Why is my sister still close to my mother after being punished? That happened to my mother and that will NEVER happen to me! Or, that teacher never gives me more than 60% so why bother? Before we know it, we start sinking in a flood thoughts and standards until we become full of distrust. Of course, we have to be careful, but when we start to question things that are clearly true, it becomes a problem.
Many times, we don’t trust that our parents and teachers are treating us fairly or even care. I mean, if they loved me, would they treat me like that? Or that teacher only likes smart students and she NEVER responds to my questions although I raise my hand. There’s no point in paying attention in that class, I’m there because I have no choice. All of that comes from a standard we have set that may be based on a misunderstanding. To move beyond this point requires, a “leap of faith.” It starts, with a simple question, “What if I am wrong?”
This mindset allows us to compare what we think to the facts, not just our opinion. It starts with just asking questions and getting clarity. However, one thing has to be clear, people WILL disappoint me, and I WILL disappoint people. Unfortunately, we judge people by what they do but we want to be judged by our intention. Sometimes we need to find out what THEIR intention was to better judge their action. All mothers have an intention to love their children, teachers have a clear intention to see their students succeed. We miss that intention when we judge their actions based on OUR standards.
We are very forgiving of our own actions because we KNOW our intention; maybe it’s time to apply the same rule to others. Maybe we will see that we were wrong about them after all.
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