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Someone who is antisocial usually wants to be sociable but is crippled by a thought. A thought that tells us that we are different, we can’t be like them and there is no hope for us. It is better to stay away from them. We arrive at the conclusion that we are different after seeing lots of evidence to support this notion.
However, there are situations where displaying “antisocial” behaviours may be a good idea. If we are among a group of people who are bent on destroying themselves, self-preservation demands that we withdraw and avoid falling into their destructive habits. However, a better definition of that is self-preservation because we can be sociable but we choose not to.
Choosing to be social and actual doing it requires climbing over a challenging thought: I will be rejected! Once upon a time, long ago there was a young man who was poor and hungry, his father used to make flutes but business was slow. He had a friend who played music in the king’s orchestra and he was well paid. The friend felt pity on him and had an idea, “You can just come in the orchestra and pretend to play. Just hold the flute to your lips and move your body like the others, there are over 100 people in the orchestra nobody will know.”
He was scared because he had a flute but he is really bad at playing it, he never really tried to learn. Anyway, it was better than starving so, he did it. He did this for about a year, was getting paid and doing okay. It was great, the other musicians liked him because he was good at cleaning the instruments. But, he kept to himself to protect his secret. One fateful day, the king decided that his wanted to hear the wind section of the orchestra play for him individually. The man panicked and out of fear, hid and killed himself.
Some may say, why didn’t he just run away? But the better question is why didn’t he learn to play better? He was surrounded by experts for one year, didn’t he make any friends? The truth is that he wanted to make friends but his hurdle was, the fear of being exposed. If he could have opened up to a friend and told them he wants help to play better, wouldn’t they have helped him? Think about it, wouldn’t the good musicians around him already know that he is not playing?
The thought that he would be exposed made him miserable and led to his death. There is a thought that is making us antisocial too. For some, when I listen to the others, they sound well educated, but I am stupid. Those guys can play soccer well but I have two left feet. They are rich people and talk about things I can’t understand. Making friends begins with accepting that you are different and that is okay. My uniqueness is a blessing, not a curse.
People can help me and I can help them. Socializing is when we can share our differences and our similarities. Why don’t you open up and share! You may be surprised at what you find.
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